I am slapped upside the head
by the view of the mountains
and you are always good to me
but there is never enough time.
What is important: I am an occasional creative
who feels often like a snowball rolling down a hill
that melts and loses most of its size
just before it is big enough
to do something.
Do you know how much it hurts
to pluck at your skin and play
‘I hate me, I hate me not’?
There is a tunnel underground
and there is a tunnel underwater
and there is a tunnel through a hillside
lighting up your eyes
and making me hold my breath until I pass out.
I don’t want the fucking blood test!
I want to drink this can of coke and fall asleep
so I can have another dream about smoking,
since that’s the only place I can do it now.
I am a helicopter
in a sky of flying cars.
One time I was sitting in traffic
because a woman got out of her car
and threw herself in front of a semi truck
and as I passed her body
halfway tucked under a police blanket
we made eye contact.
I wrote an awful poem about her
and didn’t have successful sex again
for at least three years.
When people would say things like
‘nothing matters’ and ‘everything matters’
I’d roll my eyes
and sigh into my cigarette
but fuck it, both are true.
"I will wreck you like a vericose vein."
spank my ass but also kiss my forehead and tell me I’m cute